you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
this will be a night to untag.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
