You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
