You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
