"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
