it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
