just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
