My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
