what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
