this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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