Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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