i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
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