If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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