sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
