Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
My penis needs a shock collar
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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