he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
be right there i have to get my cape
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Randomize
