She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
