Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
