i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
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