So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
