I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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