I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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