he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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