Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
