are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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