weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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