im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
