walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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