But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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