so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
