Three words: puerto rican gang bang
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
