shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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