This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
