U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
