he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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