i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
