we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
