When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
