So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
