I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
