why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
