Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
