Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
How external is "for external use only"?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
