There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
