This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
