i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Randomize
