I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
