Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
