I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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