quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I lost the right to judge tonight
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize