Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize