So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
