Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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