we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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