trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
