Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
