I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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