she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
