Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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