my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize
