We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
